How can you be outgoing

Even those that can work a room prettily easily can find themselves wishing they knew how to be more outgoing. When it comes to owning a room, a lot of factors can come into play that could discourage you from coming up to new people. Maybe the group is a little too big, maybe the people you're with are on the intimidating side, maybe you're having an off-day and don't feel your most confident, or maybe past crash-and-burn experiences are starting to crop up in the back of your mind.

Even the biggest people-person could get a hitch in their step with one of these factors. But you can't let things like that cramp up your intentions — when you think about them, they're just excuses, really. You won't ever breeze into the "perfect social situation. After awhile, you'll find those specific types of feelings melting away.

Ready for it? Below are seven tips on how to become more outgoing. You might feel like a natural wallflower, but we all know that sometimes you have to fake it till you make it in order to get anything done. And the cool thing with that tactic?

If you do it enough, you'll start believing in your own show. So when you enter a bar or a place crowded with people, let your body language reflect that of an outgoing person: Sure strides, warm smile, and — most importantly — an expressive eyebrow.

Lifestyle writer Amanda Tust from Huffington Post explained, "A quick body language trick you can use when approaching someone you are about to meet for the first time is to briefly flash your eyebrows upward when you're about 15 feet away.

As a result, an outgoing introvert may sometimes pass on invitations to large parties or events, just because they find them energy-sucking—not because they get anxious at the idea of them or lack the social skills to truly enjoy them. Still trying to figure out where you land on the introvert spectrum? Keep reading to learn the most common signs of being an outgoing introvert. To any kind of introvert , spending a good amount of time solo is a restorative and very necessary activity.

Consider creative people, like writers, artists, and musicians, says Dr. As it reaches its expiration point, the tiredness hits you all at once.

But when work demands are low, this same person may enjoy a blend of small and larger group gatherings. If this is you, assessing whether you have extra energy to give to a social setting, or if your plate is already full at any given moment, will help you figure out when to accept a social invite or opt for me-time instead. Introverts are content to spend time alone and are often very self-aware. However, sometimes you might want to try being more outgoing.

For example, if you want to make new friends, acting more extroverted can make it easier to attract others to you. We can become so attached to a label or identity that we feel reluctant to change our ways. It can even feel as though you are betraying your true self. Yet you can change your behaviors without losing sight of who you are. Humans are complex. We are capable of changing our personality traits and can adapt to new social environments.

Start by arranging to hang out with two or three people at a time. Do an activity that gives you all something to focus on or talk about, like visiting an art gallery or going on a hike. But small talk is the first step to building rapport and developing relationships. Outgoing people understand this. They tap into their underlying curiosity and make careful use of small talk to learn more about others.

What did you think? For more tips on how to make small talk, check out this guide. Extroverts often thrive in loud, busy venues like bars and noisy parties, but introverts tend to find it easier to be outgoing when they are around people who share their hobbies, values, and interests. Browse meetup. Volunteering is another good way to connect with likeminded people. When you arrive somewhere new, get acquainted with your surroundings and find a quiet place you can retreat to when you feel overwhelmed.

Knowing that you can have a few minutes away from the main group can help you stay relaxed. Aim to stay for at least half an hour, then leave if your energy levels are dropping. Here are three of the best books on how to be outgoing. They will show you how to be more confident around other people and develop your social skills.

This book will teach you how to not be shy in social settings, how to make friends, and how to improve your social life in general. If you struggle to be more outgoing at work or when attending business events, get this book. It will teach you how to use conversation and non-verbal communication to create a good impression and build relationships in professional environments.

For more books about social skills, see this guide. David Morin is the founder of SocialPro. He's been writing about social skills since Follow on Twitter or read more. I think you could add a section on peer group. We adapt to the social norms of our peer group. So if our peers are social, fun, and lively, we will become like them.

Thank you so much for the article. When I was in grade school, I used to get bullied because of my look being too tall compared to others at the time, my teeth, my look, how I dress.

I was shy and not very confident. After moving to Canada, I also struggled with language barriers. I became more self-conscious about my look and even the way I speak. When it comes to relationships, I had been way too needy because of insecurity. At work, the insecurities have been pulling me back.

There are other factors that make me feel unconfident too — my family feeling being judged and criticized, my dad would interrupt me. I feel like I have the opposite of the spotlight effect. I also have a speech problem that I am insecure about so that makes me even more shy than I already am. I compare myself to my friends who are very sociable and popular and beautiful. I also just prefer to be alone sometimes and am very introverted and need my space. I am too self conscious and think that people are constantly judging me, the spotlight effect is a problem as well.

I hated my nose, and how much my ears stuck out, I was slightly over weight and a freckle on the middle of my chin and a sucky smile. I am scared to meet new people. I always feel like I am being judged. In the moment, I am just so nervous that I never say the things I want to say or act the way I want to act. I always leave situations unhappy with my personality. I found out I acted like her is because I was with her all the time. I never really liked my stomach. At school everyone made fun of my unibrow but I changed that by plucking it all the time so nobody knew at my new school.

I have a big nose, i still have braces and im unsatisfied with my teeth, i have crooked lips, my mouth gets dry when im nervous not good , i feel overweight, i may not have a good sense of style, im poor, i am socially awkward i know, shocker , i have a scar on my lip and forhead: , i dont have perfect skin, i dont like my chin, i have a round face, i have dark circles and bags under my eyes, i have few friends, and never kept close friends, im not up to date with social media and trends and stuff, and im a stupid squid.

This has helped me understand why I do things the way I do, and introduced me to other stuff I can do.

For me, I will say am a forced introvert. I grow up like every normal child and liked by everyone but I had a childhood accident that left me with a missing part, because of this people, family and friends, joke and call me insultive names. They even playfully predicts my future.

As a young boy this made me very afraid and feel defected. Gradually, I started withdrawing from people and activities I like. A walking black box. Am the good looking quiet guy that sits alone and mind his business. I got used to being lonely because I found peace and calmness when I was alone and no one to talk about my injury. I fake confidence and i can easily get girls because of my good looks but not the girls I truly like though. I also noticed along the line that I do well in short business meeting engagements.

When discussing technical and important topics with facts and statistics, I can talk long and well but when it comes to making small talks and getting personal, I completely stay away from that because I dislike having the awkward silence and thinking about that makes me nervous.

So David, How do I start making real progress, first with my family, since they where part of how my problem started, I am always uncomfortable around them and over compensate in everythig just to avoid their judgment. And this makes me distant and unlikable. Basically I have developed an inferiority complex.

Which is a major problem since I gradually lose belief in myself as I grow older. How do I go about breaking out of this to improve on my social life and maintain a close social circle?

I think I am fat and not that good looking. I have worked tirelessly to cover it up and substitute words I have trouble with easier to say words. I have gotten so good at it, that when I tell people I have a speech problem they never noticed.

As you can probably see being social, especially towards strangers is difficult when my own name is tough for me to say. This article was very well written and will hopefully help me become the outgoing I strive to be. I am the one who live childhood alone. My home is located in a isolate grassland, the nearest residence is 5 miles away. As I grew up, I am really introvert and clumsy at social interaction. I have a spinal diesase called scheurmans kyphosis which give my back a hunch like appreance, bassicaly igor from hunchback of notchdome.

Its my biggest insecurity. Growing up i was always starred at laughed at or just made fun of. Esspecially in school. I hit a low point in life and well i joined them. Id make fun of my back too. It started with im thr best at dodge ball. When thr teacher says backs agaisnt the wall i have a head start. People usually stopped makeing fun of me.

And started talking to me. Im very shy soccaly. And with strangers its hard for me to be myself. But this post made me realize that if i just be myself and stop being shy and that everyone has flaws.

I can be outgoing and a great person to talk to. Thanks so much. Great post! Thanks for the information. I totally relate to what you said about the cycle of unattractiveness. That means deliberately putting yourself in situations that you know make you uncomfortable. There is no magic potion well, besides alcohol that will make you comfortable without going through a gauntlet of situations that make you face and overcome your fear of social situations.

You gotta go through it. And start small. You don't have to start with a stand up comedy routine, just make conversation with the guy at Starbucks. Smile at someone while you're pumping gas. These little things will give you confidence and make larger social situations more accessible. One thing that helped me in this regard was some advice an employer gave me once.

I was working backstage at an outdoor concert, and was asked to walk out on stage in front of 15, people to give water bottles to all the performers.

I was terrified. I asked a barrage of questions: "How should I do it? Do I just put it in front of them? Or hand it to them? Do I walk behind the speakers or in front? In other words, pretend like you're the kind of person that is very social and comfortable with people.

Play a character. This helps you break out of your own self-imposed social limitations by making you feel that you're actually someone else. And before you know it, your alternate character will become a part of who you really are.

Pay attention to how people behave with each other, how they respond to social cues, and how they respond to things you do and say. See how the words and actions of others make you feel.